Short Stories & Such: What Happened to your Pants?

“I hadn’t had a drink in nearly 10 years.”
“Wow,” Lucy’s hand caressed the side of his arm, “it still amazes me, Angel.”
“There goes the party.” Will raised his glass and gulped down his scotch. “Aaghh.”
“So much for the high school reunion of my dreams,” Isaiah chimed in.
“Come on guys, it’s not like I can’t have a drink for old time’s sake.”
“I don’t know, Angel."
“Don’t worry, Lucy, I’m as sober as a cat without its catnip.”
“It’s what?” Will burst out laughing. “You’d better take at least one drink before the speeches.” He handed Angel a glass of wine from the center of the small table they sat at.
“I hear that old jackrabbit, Mr. Hobbs, is still alive.”
“You don’t kid?”
“Nah,” Isaiah sipped his drink and suddenly spilled some on Angel’s shoes.
“Hey.” Angel shook his foot.
“Why don’t we do a 3-4 for all time’s sake?" Isaiah poured some more liquor into his glass.
“Yeah,” Will said, placing his glass down.
“What’s a ‘3-4’?” Lucy raised an eyebrow.
“You should have raised both.” Will covered the grin on his lips with the glass.
Angel took one long gulp of his drink. “I don’t know, guys,” he said, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand and pulling on his tie. “That got us in a heap of trouble.”
“They can’t suspend us... We're immune now.” Isaiah belched.
Lucy frowned and placed her hands on her hips. “Would someone let me in on this little joke?”
But before Lucy could finish her question, the three men walked over to the end of the table bar and hogged down a few too many drinks. They talked about pulling the stunt of the century right after Old Hobbs finished his speech ‘for all time’s sake.’
All Lucy could do was watch from a distance and cross her fingers that whatever they were up to would not reflect on her or cause Angel to regress.
Once the music lowered and Mr. Hobbs began his speech to welcome and congratulate the class, the three men snuck backstage. They ran into an old buddy and paid him to pull the curtains open the minute the ‘jackrabbit’ finished.
After a long applause, Mr. Hobbs congratulated the class again and asked them to enjoy the rest of the evening. With an accompanying ka-ching from the band, the curtains rolled open. The three men lowered their pants and underwear and performed a moon dance.
Mr. Hobbs and the faculty were stupefied, and Lucy was horrified, but the crowd loved it. They roared for more. Some female graduates jumped onstage with the dancers and removed the men's pants completely. Then, they pushed them off the stage while the band played another song.
Others threw their gowns in the air and joined the dancing onstage.
The commotion was too much for Lucy, so she ran toward the exit. She paced the block for two hours, anticipating that the police would arrive soon. However, none came. A few minutes later, she noticed people leaving the building with a smile on their faces, as if they were spray painted.
Lucy marched toward the entrance and made her way inside. Confetti and balloons showered the scene. She stepped on multiple tassels and climbed over a pile of chairs. She walked around in shoes until she found Angel and his friends resting in front of the stage.
With a drink in hand, Angel said, “If only I could remember where I left my pants.”