Short Stories& Such: Not Your Average Bar Fight

​As usual, I minded my own business at this Mexican bar down the street where I live. I was checking out the girls when a man the size of an ape approached me. 
“What do ya think yer doin’?”
“I’m sorry. What do you mean?”
He grabbed me by the collar and lifted me off the stool. “Ya know what I mean. Ya have been eyeing me girl.”
“I don’t even know which one it would beShort Stories& Such 10: Not Your Average Bar Fight
 
As usual, I was just minding my own business at this Mexican bar down the street where I live. I was checking out the girls when a man the size of an ape approached me. 
“What do ya think yer doin’?”
“I’m sorry. What do you mean?”
He grabbed me by the collar and lifted me off the stool. “Ya know what I mean. Ya have been eyeing me girl.”
“I don’t even know which one it would be --”
“Ya callin’ me a liar?”
Clearly, he had been drinking way too much liquor. His breath was a stench of axe and olives.
“If you will kindly let me down, I can explain myself.”
“Explain it out back runt.” He pushed me against the bar and shoved me toward the doors.
My knees buckled with each step. The sandwiched alley with one exit out back closed in on me. I perspired, and my heart pulsed fast. I was sure this is what having your heart ripped out felt like. I wasn’t scared about duking it out, but because it wasn’t avoidable, and I would land in the hospital with my arm twisted backward, I endured.
“Well?” He placed his fists in front of his face and maneuvered them like a boxer dancing.
Think, think, think. “Uhhh, how about we settle this the old-fashioned way?”
“What ya talkin’ ‘bout?”
“You agree that fist fights are so old… and there is another way to settle any argument?”
His eyes peered at the people gathered for the big event. “Yeah, like what?”
At least he was hearing me out.
“Like, how about we settle this by having a race to see who makes it to the end first, wins.”
He stopped dancing and looked around again. A woman in an extra short glittery red dress, no straps, and long legs held her hands in prayer. She nodded her head.
“Awright, you got yerself a deal.”
We had two barrels placed at the end of the alley. We made a runner’s stance at the other end. The bartender popped a bottle, and we were off. 
 At first, I thought my idea was stupid because he was right next to me, laughing. Something inside me told me this guy still was going to beat me to a guacamole sauce. So, I mustered the courage to run faster than he did, and when I passed the finish line, I didn’t bother to look back. I just kept going. I came to a standstill about three blocks away. My heart pressed against my chest, ready to burst. That's when I turned, though I was safe from any danger. I veered to the left and ran back to the bar. 
I must have been crazy returning to face the big brute, but something inside me couldn’t let the image of his laughing face go. 
When I got to the front door, my calves pulsed, and sweat dripped down my forehead. I opened the door and spotted him in the midst of boasting about the race. 
“So, yer back fur more?”
I marched toward him and punched him in the nose. He swung at me, and I ducked. I grabbed the stool and lifted it on top of him. He got hold of it with his huge hands.
“Not bad fur a runt.” He gritted.
“Not bad for an ape,” I chided.
He let go and chuckled at first, then bolstered a laugh. 
Seeing his mood had changed, I lowered the stool and joined him.
Soon, everyone joined us, but I should have paid attention. A fist struck me across the face, and I was down for hours.